NEWS FROM...
        ...EL LOBO


Hispanic Icons Ignored
Michael Jackson died and they made a big to do. Then Farrah Fawcett died and they make a big to do. Then the Taco Bell dog died and everybody ignored him.. Why? Because he was an Hispanic icon. Same thing happened when the Frito Bandido was eliminated, no big to do. I want to know about the vet who was taking care of him. I want to know if the chihuahua was overdosing on heartworm pills. And I want to know who gets custody of the last litter.

Flying Nun Goes Dysfunctional
I want to know why Sally Fields is doing all those TV ads for the new erectile dysfunction pill, Boneiva. I think it's a great product; Boneiva is wonderful for bone loss. But Sally Fields will always be the flying nun to me.

BP Failure at the Border
That oil rig in the gulf blew up and everyone said that BP had to clean up the mess, I knew the government was really screwing up. Hell, Border Patrol can't round up the illegal aliens, what makes you think they will be any better at rounding up the leaked oil.
     The last time we had an environmental disaster, the Hispanics got blamed because the ship had an Hispanic surname--the Exxon Valdez. Who gets the blame this time?

Lets Tax the Imports
With so many illegal aliens and legal Hispanics in the country, why does Hollywood have to bring in all those Spaniards like Javier Bardim and Penelope Cruz to play Mexicans?
     And when there is a good role for a Spaniard, like the role of the Spaniard gladiator in THE GLADIATOR, Hollywood gives the job to an Australian. Can you imagine the uproar if Hollywood would have given the role of Crocodile Dundee to Cheech Marin? Anyway, I think that James Edward Olmos would have played a great gladiator wearing a zoot suit.

Sarah Got it Right
Finally, I have to agree with Sarah Palin on something. We both want to know how the Muslims got control of a volcano and made it blow up. Hell they can't even blow up a shoe in an airplane or firecrackers in Times Square. Now they have their own Islamic volcano.*

I want my America back like it was when Eisenhower was president except with civil rights, Obamacare and my retirement annuities so that I could retire at 16.

     * Editor's Note: We believe that Mr. Lobo is referring to the Icelandic volcano.