WHAT'S NEW AT
PECOS BILL
JUNIOR COLLEGE


TRY AS THEY MIGHT, FACULTY AROUND THE U.S.
CAN'T COMPETE WITH PBJC

As reported by the Hoffington Post, faculty at many of the colleges and universities throughout the U.S. are doing their best to live up to the standards set by Pecos Bill Junior College, but rarely do they succeed. Here are just of few examples of some recent efforts.
  • Although Tihomir Petrov, former professor of mathematics at UC Irvine, maintains that he is not guilty of the two counts of public urination with which he has been charged for peeing on his colleague's door, prosecutors say his second act of outer-bathroom waste release has been caught on tape. Apparently, Petrov was in a dispute with a fellow professor preceding the alleged, er, marking of territory

  • California State University at Northridge professor Kenneth Ng had no qualms owning up to being the primary writer for BigBabyKenny.com -- a website that specializes in highlighting Thailand's sex market for interested tourists, a topic that likely was not covered in his economics lectures. Citing free speech, university officials allowed Ng to keep his post at the school, and Ng defended his website in an editorial in the student paper, saying that his internet foray merely explored womanhood in another culture.

  • In an episode worthy of To Catch a Predator, Igor Sorkin, an adjunct professor at a number of NYC schools, was caught in the midst of an attempted tryst by a police officer posing online as a 14-year-old girl. In addition to trying to meet the minor in person, Sorkin had been sending indecent photographs of himself for almost four months before he was finally busted.

  • In December of last year, Sister Marie Thornton was accused of embezzling $1.2 million over the course of ten years from Iona College, where she served as the vice president of finance. But she may still have had a light confession the week she was charged -- she pleaded not guilty to the felony accusation.

  • Even though Lisa D. Chavez was exposed as a phone-sex dominatrix in 2007, she has maintained her status as creative writing professor at the University of New Mexico since that time -- a title many of her colleagues believe should be revoked (even though she abandoned her more risqué line of work). The deluge of lawsuits and accusations following the controversy have continued -- the most recent episode occurred last week, when a judge rebuked the college for facilitating an environment which essentially forced another faculty member to quit her job.

  • When Cornell University professor Mark Talbert lost his cool in front of a full lecture -- warning the class, "if I hear one more of these overly loud yawns, get up and walk the hell out! Yawn outside!" -- the footage went viral, granting him widespread notoriety and even a remix.

  • Paul Prosperino, who used to be a professor at Hazard Community and Technical College, pleaded guilty to dealing drugs last week -- after police found 2,000 pills, 30 loaded guns and cash in his apartment.

  • If allegations against George Mason University professor Edward Wegman -- author of the 2006 report which argued against global warming -- prove true, he will have to own up not only to having plagiarized close to one third of his study, but to having taken some of it straight from Wikipedia. Whoops.

  • University of Iowa professor Gary Hunninghake admitted to fabricating claims that he had been mugged and stabbed last spring in Chicago. Hunninghake -- who pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct in late January -- said he had made up the story and inflicted the wounds himself.

  • Last August, former Harvard professor Marc Hauser was found "solely responsible" for eight counts of scientific misconduct. In addition to throwing Harvard into hot water -- the university's reputation took a hit for keeping investigations into allegations against Hauser under wraps -- the professor's slip-ups "may cast a shadow over the broad field of scientific research that depended on the particular research technique often used in his experiments," according to the New York Times.

  • University of Florida professor Dov Borovsky was arrested and charged with three felony counts of grand theft and one of fraud after allegedly paying for trips to Malaysia -- which were already being covered by the company he was consulting for -- to a university credit card. Pretty sneaky for an entomologist.


TEACHER BREAKS WORLD RECORD
BY JAMING 92 PENCILS IN HIS MOUTH

Here's one area where Pecos Bill's faculty has fallen far behind. As a result, we are trying our damndest to recruit Mr. Dinesh Shivnath Upadhyaya who dreamed of being a Guinness World Record holder since his childhood. Watch this video which shows the Mumbai teacher cramming an incredible 92 pencils into his mouth, a feat that he says proves he deserves to be listed in the record books.


[The above is Copyright © 2011 The HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.]